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You may just end up hating me for what I am about to write, but, it works...... so I'm going to write about it for those of you who are smart enough to try it.
Acting too smart will lose you a sale. There are a million reasons for this. Acting too dumb will also lose you a sale.... but not as often as acting smart will!
There is a continuum between acting intelligent and acting stupid... a scale if you will. The way you act falls somewhere along this continuum as well as how your customer acts. You always want to be lower on the continuum than your customer, but you must never be too much lower! Lets say for example you have a client with an IQ of 60 who can barely do his job as a janitor... your going to act a lot dumber with him than you will with someone who has a doctorate! In fact, if you can get a moron to call you dumb, then your doing perfect. People with below average IQs love to point out when they feel smarter than someone.... cause it doesn't happen very often.
As much as people (women especially) love to think that they want someone who is smart... what they fail to realize is that what they want is someone who is smart.... just not as smart as they are. Think about it. Would you really choose to be with someone who makes you feel stupid all the time or would you rather be with someone who you can "impress" with your smarts? Everyone wants the upper hand!
Your job is to be a fantasy girl right? Right. So, to truly be a fantasy (for most men) you must give them the upper hand. Well, actually your not really giving them the upper hand, your just making it seem that way.I know it sucks to swallow your pride but that's partially why it works so well.
OK so let's take a look now as to WHY acting dumber than your client works oh so well.
#1. It's a boost to their ego. In my previous blog I described how men spend money at a strip club because they can meet various needs on "Maslow's hierarchy of needs" through our services. You work towards meeting esteem and safety needs by making them feel smarter than you. Perhaps even "belongingness needs" if they are the type that often feel like an outcast due to their lack of intelligence. The tricky part is meeting their cognitive needs without "getting too smart", but I've talked about that in my previous blog already.
The big thing here though is that it raises their self esteem. Like I said before, everyone wants the upper hand, and our clients deal with that every day of their life... everyone else trying to get the upper hand on them! Their co-workers constantly trying to outshine them, their children talking back to them, their friends making fun of them... who can they truly impress when everyone is trying to gain the upper hand over them?
That's where we come in. We give them something that they can't get anywhere else. Someone who they can "impress" with their knowledge and skills, someone who can appreciate them and someone who they can truly feel better than. Their intelligence is one of the main sources of their vanity so try to boost it rather than challenge it.
#2. They underestimate your sales ability. I mean come on... how is someone who isn't as smart as you going to outwit you out of your hard earned dough? The more unassuming you seem the less likely you are to manipulate them... well in their eyes at least.
When they accuse you of trying to get their money just open your eyes real wide and act appalled! LOL... tell them you hadn't even thought of it! If you've been acting dumb enough they'll probably believe you. Just quickly change the subject back to how amazing they are and how badly you want to get naked for them and they'll forget all about it.
3. It makes you "endearing". And yes, endearing is the term we are going for here NOT annoying, which is what you will get if you act too dumb. What we are going for is more of a child-like playfulness. You want to seem "fun" and it's really hard to seem fun when your showing off your brains for something.
Defensiveness, challenge, strength, boredom, these are some of the things tied to intellectualism that can often have us running for the hills, especially when we are out to just enjoy ourselves! Stupidity however is often associated with comedy, naiveness, and love which have the ability to soften our hearts. How many times have you heard of someone "with a lot of heart"? How do you picture them? I'd put money on you assuming them to be more naive than intellectual.
The world is full of people who think they know more than you, but the truly endearing ones are the ones that just don't care that you know more than them. They are often called "sweethearts" : ).
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There are certain men however that would prefer a "bitch". These men want humiliation, they crave submission. I really don't have much expertise in this area, however, I would still imagine that it would be best to keep things "simple" and not over emphasize your intellect.
Another positive aspect of keeping things "simple" is that they are able to tune out your "bland" words and focus on YOU. Ideas and conversation that is too complex distracts them from focusing on your beauty, your mystery, your sexuality.
Acting dumber than you really are is a way of controlling attention. It's a tool for distraction. You are distracting them from what is really going on by letting the spotlight fall on them. By making them feel good. From underneath your psychological disguise you can make insinuations and suggestions that will pull or push them in whatever direction you want them to go - and they will be that less likely to suspect anything.
It's so hard to let people think they are smarter than you - just like them your intelligence is a major part of your vanity. This is why it's so hard for people to see through your disguise though. Very few people have the intelligence to even imagine that it's possible to act dumber than you are and even less have the ability to understand why you would do such a thing. So suck up your ego and use their naivety to your advantage!
Before you begin....
First of all welcome to my blog! Let me tell you a bit about myself and how this all began...
It all started when I went through a bout of depression where I questioned my intellect. One of the hardest things to go through is to honestly think that you're stupid.
Eventually I realized, however, that it was not me that was intellectually challenged, but the world around me that told me that I was because I see things "differently" (in other words, ways that most people don't have the ability to understand!). It turned out that I'm extremely philosophical and bright and I have an ability to become extremely good at whatever I have the motivation to learn! Yay!
So to find happiness I began one of the deepest searches one can take on in their lives: The Search for Enlightenment. What I found was that there are different paths to the peak of all mountains, but to truly know the way up a mountain you must first know all the paths to be able to find the one that will lead you where you want to go. This was my template for success: to simply learn and to keep my mind open no matter what.
Hence, I practice a form of Integralism in which there is no wrong answer, only answers that will lead you closer to the full truth and answers that will limit the truth.
It's my belief that to say there is only one right answer it like saying that there is only one path up the mountain... it's dangerously misleading.
As a professional exotic dancer it is my goal to apply this wisdom to my chosen profession as a way of fully exploring means of generating revenue. To use everything from biology to psychology to sociology to sales to become the "Ultimate Fantasy Girl" who is able to rob men blind! : )... The Ultimate Stripper if you will...
Sometimes, you may find what I say here hard to understand if you are used to the average "sales book" that most women in my profession rely on to learn The Hustle. It's my personal opinion that to rely on a sales tactic alone is highly misdirected for men do not come to strip-clubs to BUY something, they come to enjoy a fantasy. And while there are many sales tricks and tactics that can be used to increase your effectiveness, to count on them without respect for the deeper psychological processes involved in the relation between you and your customers is highly naive and doesn't implement a full range of effectiveness.
What you will read in this blog is mostly based on psychology, and can sometimes be philosophical and / or theoretical. However, it is the philosophy of stripping that will lead you to the deeper understanding that will spell out your success. Not all tricks and techniques will work for everyone but, a greater understanding of the craft and it's underlying psychology WILL.... as long as you can grasp it. It will then be up to you to apply the knowledge to the best of your ability, which WILL require creativity on your part to be able to match your personality with the intricacies of being a "fantasy girl"
It is not my place to call myself an expert, instead I feel the term "scientific observer" perhaps is more appropriate. I simply ask questions and seek answers. However, with the amounts of questions that I have asked and the amounts of answers that I have collected over the past two years on the subject of stripping has begun to take shape. It has begun to make more and more sense as a full picture of the art form has started to develop.
It's like all the little questions I've asked over time were like pieces to a giant puzzle. From the questions on the source of happiness and misery to the questions on what to say to a guy when he asks for your number at work, they have all added up to this picture of the "ultimate" dancer. How she knows mens weaknesses, how she knows just what to say to play up what she wants you to think and play down what she doesn't want you to think about, and how she can rob almost ANY man who enters her web blind.
These blogs are the first steps of cataloging this picture and while many details are yet to emerge, it is my goal to describe the foundations and principles of my findings thus far.
It is important that you realize that my goal here is to catalog the ways to MAKE MONEY. It's not about "being yourself" or "being a good person" Often times I will suggest things quite contradictory to popular ethics. You can judge and disagree all you want, but the techniques I have outlined here WORK when it comes to making money. If it is more important to you to "be honest" or "be a good person" than it is to make money than this blog IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have any questions by all means please feel free to ask. It's my philosophy that questions are the beginnings of enlightenment, so please, enlighten yourself! And by all means, keep searching for answers elsewhere... for the more places you look, the more comprehensive your vision will be : )
Thanks for reading.
<3 Princess Paris
Thursday, August 7, 2008
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4 comments:
When I was in sales I used the "us versus them" approach and that way didn't insult either of us.
I understand your theory, but I would not have my regulars (and ergo the money that I've earned from dancing) if I had suppressed my intelligence. It is very possible to be intelligent while maintaining an endearing and relateable personality--it's the difference between the Snob and the Schoolgirl.
Also, I would burn out in days if I had to maintain a persona of a Lesser Me. And quitting is definitely NOT conducive to earning more money, yeah?
I understand what you mean tho, I would say it applies to the beer-belly less educated guys alot, luckily I work in a very upscale club in Florida where most of the guys are well educated so I don't really have to dumb down since most of them have a college degree and are very intelligent men already. I have tried having a sophisticated conversation about my travels and so on with construction workers before, and it doesn't lead to much I'll tell you...
i understand what you guys are saying and sometimes you don't have to try and dumb yourself down in order for men to subconsciously feel more superior than you. Like i said a lot of guys will want intelligent women because they themselves are rather intelligent, and they have a threshold of how unintelligent you can be before they loose interest. However the point I'm making is that no matter what, they will always subconsciously want/need to be more intelligent than you.
It's about flattering their egos without them knowing about it. That's the whole point of this technique. The point is not to act dumb.... it's about making them look smart.
As for burning out, it's important that you keep your sanity. Thats your #1 priority and if you can't do this technique AND stay in the game then don't do it... it's hard, that's why these techniques are considered advanced. If you are able to execute it properly though, you will see results. I promise.
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