Before you begin....


First of all welcome to my blog! Let me tell you a bit about myself and how this all began...

It all started when I went through a bout of depression where I questioned my intellect. One of the hardest things to go through is to honestly think that you're stupid.

Eventually I realized, however, that it was not me that was intellectually challenged, but the world around me that told me that I was because I see things "differently" (in other words, ways that most people don't have the ability to understand!). It turned out that I'm extremely philosophical and bright and I have an ability to become extremely good at whatever I have the motivation to learn! Yay!

So to find happiness I began one of the deepest searches one can take on in their lives: The Search for Enlightenment. What I found was that there are different paths to the peak of all mountains, but to truly know the way up a mountain you must first know all the paths to be able to find the one that will lead you where you want to go. This was my template for success: to simply learn and to keep my mind open no matter what.

Hence, I practice a form of Integralism in which there is no wrong answer, only answers that will lead you closer to the full truth and answers that will limit the truth.

It's my belief that to say there is only one right answer it like saying that there is only one path up the mountain... it's dangerously misleading.

As a professional exotic dancer it is my goal to apply this wisdom to my chosen profession as a way of fully exploring means of generating revenue. To use everything from biology to psychology to sociology to sales to become the "Ultimate Fantasy Girl" who is able to rob men blind! : )... The Ultimate Stripper if you will...

Sometimes, you may find what I say here hard to understand if you are used to the average "sales book" that most women in my profession rely on to learn The Hustle. It's my personal opinion that to rely on a sales tactic alone is highly misdirected for men do not come to strip-clubs to BUY something, they come to enjoy a fantasy. And while there are many sales tricks and tactics that can be used to increase your effectiveness, to count on them without respect for the deeper psychological processes involved in the relation between you and your customers is highly naive and doesn't implement a full range of effectiveness.

What you will read in this blog is mostly based on psychology, and can sometimes be philosophical and / or theoretical. However, it is the philosophy of stripping that will lead you to the deeper understanding that will spell out your success. Not all tricks and techniques will work for everyone but, a greater understanding of the craft and it's underlying psychology WILL.... as long as you can grasp it. It will then be up to you to apply the knowledge to the best of your ability, which WILL require creativity on your part to be able to match your personality with the intricacies of being a "fantasy girl"

It is not my place to call myself an expert, instead I feel the term "scientific observer" perhaps is more appropriate. I simply ask questions and seek answers. However, with the amounts of questions that I have asked and the amounts of answers that I have collected over the past two years on the subject of stripping has begun to take shape. It has begun to make more and more sense as a full picture of the art form has started to develop.

It's like all the little questions I've asked over time were like pieces to a giant puzzle. From the questions on the source of happiness and misery to the questions on what to say to a guy when he asks for your number at work, they have all added up to this picture of the "ultimate" dancer. How she knows mens weaknesses, how she knows just what to say to play up what she wants you to think and play down what she doesn't want you to think about, and how she can rob almost ANY man who enters her web blind.

These blogs are the first steps of cataloging this picture and while many details are yet to emerge, it is my goal to describe the foundations and principles of my findings thus far.

It is important that you realize that my goal here is to catalog the ways to MAKE MONEY. It's not about "being yourself" or "being a good person" Often times I will suggest things quite contradictory to popular ethics. You can judge and disagree all you want, but the techniques I have outlined here WORK when it comes to making money. If it is more important to you to "be honest" or "be a good person" than it is to make money than this blog IS NOT FOR YOU.


If you have any questions by all means please feel free to ask. It's my philosophy that questions are the beginnings of enlightenment, so please, enlighten yourself! And by all means, keep searching for answers elsewhere... for the more places you look, the more comprehensive your vision will be : )

Thanks for reading.

<3 Princess Paris

Thursday, August 7, 2008

* Stupidity vs. Intelligence

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You may just end up hating me for what I am about to write, but, it works...... so I'm going to write about it for those of you who are smart enough to try it.

Acting too smart will lose you a sale. There are a million reasons for this. Acting too dumb will also lose you a sale.... but not as often as acting smart will!

There is a continuum between acting intelligent and acting stupid... a scale if you will. The way you act falls somewhere along this continuum as well as how your customer acts. You always want to be lower on the continuum than your customer, but you must never be too much lower! Lets say for example you have a client with an IQ of 60 who can barely do his job as a janitor... your going to act a lot dumber with him than you will with someone who has a doctorate! In fact, if you can get a moron to call you dumb, then your doing perfect. People with below average IQs love to point out when they feel smarter than someone.... cause it doesn't happen very often.

As much as people (women especially) love to think that they want someone who is smart... what they fail to realize is that what they want is someone who is smart.... just not as smart as they are. Think about it. Would you really choose to be with someone who makes you feel stupid all the time or would you rather be with someone who you can "impress" with your smarts? Everyone wants the upper hand!

Your job is to be a fantasy girl right? Right. So, to truly be a fantasy (for most men) you must give them the upper hand. Well, actually your not really giving them the upper hand, your just making it seem that way.I know it sucks to swallow your pride but that's partially why it works so well.

OK so let's take a look now as to WHY acting dumber than your client works oh so well.

#1. It's a boost to their ego. In my previous blog I described how men spend money at a strip club because they can meet various needs on "Maslow's hierarchy of needs" through our services. You work towards meeting esteem and safety needs by making them feel smarter than you. Perhaps even "belongingness needs" if they are the type that often feel like an outcast due to their lack of intelligence. The tricky part is meeting their cognitive needs without "getting too smart", but I've talked about that in my previous blog already.

The big thing here though is that it raises their self esteem. Like I said before, everyone wants the upper hand, and our clients deal with that every day of their life... everyone else trying to get the upper hand on them! Their co-workers constantly trying to outshine them, their children talking back to them, their friends making fun of them... who can they truly impress when everyone is trying to gain the upper hand over them?

That's where we come in. We give them something that they can't get anywhere else. Someone who they can "impress" with their knowledge and skills, someone who can appreciate them and someone who they can truly feel better than. Their intelligence is one of the main sources of their vanity so try to boost it rather than challenge it.

#2. They underestimate your sales ability. I mean come on... how is someone who isn't as smart as you going to outwit you out of your hard earned dough? The more unassuming you seem the less likely you are to manipulate them... well in their eyes at least.

When they accuse you of trying to get their money just open your eyes real wide and act appalled! LOL... tell them you hadn't even thought of it! If you've been acting dumb enough they'll probably believe you. Just quickly change the subject back to how amazing they are and how badly you want to get naked for them and they'll forget all about it.

3. It makes you "endearing". And yes, endearing is the term we are going for here NOT annoying, which is what you will get if you act too dumb. What we are going for is more of a child-like playfulness. You want to seem "fun" and it's really hard to seem fun when your showing off your brains for something.

Defensiveness, challenge, strength, boredom, these are some of the things tied to intellectualism that can often have us running for the hills, especially when we are out to just enjoy ourselves! Stupidity however is often associated with comedy, naiveness, and love which have the ability to soften our hearts. How many times have you heard of someone "with a lot of heart"? How do you picture them? I'd put money on you assuming them to be more naive than intellectual.

The world is full of people who think they know more than you, but the truly endearing ones are the ones that just don't care that you know more than them. They are often called "sweethearts" : ).
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There are certain men however that would prefer a "bitch". These men want humiliation, they crave submission. I really don't have much expertise in this area, however, I would still imagine that it would be best to keep things "simple" and not over emphasize your intellect.

Another positive aspect of keeping things "simple" is that they are able to tune out your "bland" words and focus on YOU. Ideas and conversation that is too complex distracts them from focusing on your beauty, your mystery, your sexuality.

Acting dumber than you really are is a way of controlling attention. It's a tool for distraction. You are distracting them from what is really going on by letting the spotlight fall on them. By making them feel good. From underneath your psychological disguise you can make insinuations and suggestions that will pull or push them in whatever direction you want them to go - and they will be that less likely to suspect anything.

It's so hard to let people think they are smarter than you - just like them your intelligence is a major part of your vanity. This is why it's so hard for people to see through your disguise though. Very few people have the intelligence to even imagine that it's possible to act dumber than you are and even less have the ability to understand why you would do such a thing. So suck up your ego and use their naivety to your advantage!

Monday, August 4, 2008

* Integrated Stripping

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Consciousness is a scarce resource believe it or not. We can all only be conscious of so much at any given time. The process of enlightenment is to expand your consciousness so that you can be aware of more than you were aware of before.

One of the best ways to "map" our consciousness is through Integralism. One of the things Interalism does is it takes a picture of everything that we can possibly be aware of and puts it into graphs and charts. Integralism states that everything is meant to be, yet everything falls into various levels of complexity, going from simplistic to ornate, depending on how much material it encompasses.

Therefore, the more material you are able to be aware of, the higher skill level you will be operating on.

Take a moment to study the chart on the left. Anything you could ever imagine in the whole world can be plotted out on this very chart, including all knowledge related to making money as a stripper. It helps us see what we might other wise miss, and where our knowledge rests.

Stripping is mostly an art that deals with the individuals involved (dancer and customer) therefore most of what we study will take place in the upper (individual) quadrants of the Integralsim graph. However, what we do also has communal implications too, and to be truly an artist in our craft, we must also have perspective as to what our profession MEANS in culture and society to stay on top of our game.

For now, let's concentrate on the individuals: the dancer and the customer. Each obviously has needs that need no get met during their exchange.... to get an idea of the FULL range of these needs, let's look at one of the most famous psychological concepts: Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

As strippers, we are mostly focused on one thing that will take care of many of our needs: money. We must provide for ourselves and anyone that depends on us.

However, to be able to perform our job well, there are other needs that must be met... in fact the more, the better. Obviously esteem is one of the greatest factors as to whether we will have a good night or not, as well as everything below it.

What I propose however is that to be a top earner, you must not only have the four lower needs met (also known as deficiency needs), but also meet the upper level needs as well (known as self actualization needs). Once again, the more, the better. For example, reading this blog helps fulfill cognitive needs that help you to "hustle". Anything that helps you understand your job better works towards that goal. Stripping itself can actually offer a source of fulfillment to your needs as well. For example, the female body is a work of art when used with grace and poise and when you appreciate that you are meeting your aesthetic needs.

As for the higher levels of needs, all i can say is that if your not growing your regressing, but if you can find ways to use your profession to help you gain further understanding of yourself and then leverage that into an understanding spirit, you will go far : ).

The more ways you can find ways to meet your needs with your job, the better you will be at it. A girl who cannot find inspiration in what she does will show her lack of interest towards the customers. The more you are able to find things in your job that make you happy, the more excited you will be about it! Just look at the hierarchy and ask yourself how you can satisfy yourself through being a stripper.

The customer represents the upper left hand corner of the integral chart above and is equally important to have a comprehensive understanding of. They are the corner stone of our work and without them, we would be doing nothing. However, I say that the customer is equally important to the dancer because the dancer is the product and without a solid product there is no customer.

A customer purchases time with a dancer because it fulfills one of his needs. I would say that the percentage of men coming in for one need actually directly corresponds to the hierarchy. For example, there are more men that will come in to meet their biological need for sexual excitement than there are men that come in for the esteem boost that some dancers will provide him. And that there are more men that come in to meet their need for belongingness then there are men that need to satisfy their aesthetic taste.

There are even a smaller amount of men who come in to fulfill their need for personal growth, but I can assure you that there are a few men out there who do. However, you will never understand how they meet that need if you cannot meet that need for yourself.

Let's take a look at each need and how we as strippers are able to capitalize on fulfilling it.

1. Physiological - for the most part we take care of these ourselves. I mean, there are people at the club that help us meet these: the cook, the waitress, the janitor... But, there is one physiological need that we are able to simulate fulfilling: sex. Every man needs sex and those that deny that to themselves are literally fasting in a way and it's usually only to meet needs of self actualization that they will deny themselves of it. Sex is the most important part of our job. If men can't get sex, then what we provide is the next best thing: the idea / simulation of sex.

2. Safety - This is of course the second most important thing that you can provide as a dancer - the first of course simulating desire / sexuality. You must be able to make your customer feel safe around you. If he feels threatened by you, like you are going to demoralize him or belittle him or make him feel uncomfortable, he's not going to spend anything! He needs to feel like he is in a safe place where people aren't going to (both physically and socially) attack him for what he is doing and if they do, that he will have someone on his side to protect him - be on his side.

3. Belongingness - I'd say that at least %70 of the people that walk in the club have a need for belonging that has not been met. The world is a harsh place where it can be hard to find acceptance for who you are. Even those that have reached self actualization still have the need to be accepted by others, even though it may not be as strong of a need as others not so high in consciousness. Make your customers feel at home with you and you will settle this need while they are with you. Never make them feel awkward or out of place and you should be fine.

4. Self Esteem - Meeting this need is THE TICKET to success as a dancer. Make your customer feel good about himself!!!!!! I can't tell you enough how far this will go. People crave acceptance - men in particular need to feel sexually attractive and I'd say that this is probably THE reason strip clubs are so popular. Where else can you have a plethura of naked women at your feet begging for your attention? Stroke their ego. Seriously. That is why they come to strip clubs. Some men need the verbal reinforcement to their esteem, but others will need you to just sit there and act cool to make themselves feel cooler. The more esteem they have, the less verbal you need to be.

- The above four needs were all deficiency needs which means that they are the base of all other needs. We now move into self actualization needs which are like the icing on the cake. -

5. Cognition - There are a few ways to meet this need - humor, encouragement, listening, conversation, anything that stimulates their mind. People need to be mentally stimulated. however, make sure that you do not challenge their ego; let them do the thinking and keep their mind going without putting too much pressure on it. The best way to meet this need is by letting them feel smart. Let them instruct you on something - even if it's something ou already know about. The more they talk about something the better. Challenge them through questions... not through your own thoughts, which, if your reading this blog, could make them feel somewhat inadequate and trample their esteem! Humor is probably the best way to meet this need... you can also play games, or riddles...

6. Aesthetics - Just being a woman is an aesthetic. After all, we are beautiful creatures. However, if you want to take it farther and meet this need to a greater extent, you might want to look into enhancing your skill as a dancer or using novelty to your advantage. Learn pole dancing, acrobatics, get flexible, or dress in beautiful outfits, or costumes. Do your hair in spectacular updos with feathers and bows.... anything that will enhance your beauty, or make you more like a piece of art will satisfy their aesthetic needs.

7. Self actualization - This of course is going to be hard for most of us to provide for men because most of us are still working on figuring out how to provide it for ourselves! However, I'd like to associate self-actualization with peak experiences, and if you provide your customers with all of the above needs at the same time, you are providing a peak experience. If you can get him into a state of bliss where he is thinking to himself "wow, i didn't know life could be this good!" - then I think you have gotten as close to this as a stripper can get.

8. Self-transcendence - Transcendence is meditative so not only will you have to be able to get into that state, but you will have to get your customer in that state as well. You might be able to do this through hypnotism, but I have personally never taken it to this level, so I cannot vouch for how or if it works. If you want to take it into spiritual territory in conversation then by all means give it a shot, but I think most men.... as in %99 will not be ready for that yet. You will only be able to take it as far as your customer is "developed" to handle.

What you need to do is take a good look at each customer and try to asses their level of development so that you can have an understanding of what their unfulfilled needs are. Everyone, even the people who are higher up in development share ALL of these needs. There are just people who are more capable of meeting their own needs and/or are more fulfilled than others. But, just because they are fulfilled, doesn't mean that they couldn't use more of a good thing right?

The chart I have provided above is an invaluable tool that you can use to identify the levels of development of your customers. I find that the easiest way to do this is to start my assessment with Maslow and then fill in the details with the rest.

So, in our integrated approach we have looked at ourselves as dancers, our clients, but what about what we "are" as professionals in society? The way society views us has a major impact on the way our customers see us. I'll have to leave this topic for another blog though because it's getting late and I need to sleep : )

For now just know that everything that has to do with stripping falls somewhere on the first chart that is provided above and everything is relevant!!!!

If you would like to know more about integralism and how it can be applied to other fields than stripping (health, spirituality, business etc...) I suggest The Integral Vision by Ken Wilber - the genius mind behind integralism!!!

Friday, August 1, 2008

* Creating a Fantasy

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Creating a fantasy. This IS the hardest part of our jobs as strippers... and the best part about it is that %80 of our success depends on our ability to do it.

There are many many girls out there who completely ignore this crucial factor of their job, in fact I would say the large majority of girls fall into this category. A small percentage actually take it into consideration and are able to leverage it into sales, and an even smaller - perhaps miniscule - percentage actually really look into Male psychology to find out an in-depth analysis of what the typical male fantasy IS.

The best place to look towards when trying to understand the psychology of the male fantasy is the science of socio-biology. To put it in basic terms, this is the science of how sex has influenced our social behaviors and gender differences. Men see the world in such a different way than women do it's hard to understand how we ever get along, but we are genetically designed to do so despite our differences! We as women however, MUST respect the differences in the psychology of the opposite gender if we EVER hope to be able to appeal to them.

That being said, girls who focus on sales are doing so at the great risk of degrading their fantasy value. What they fail to realize is that they ARE the product that they are trying to sell, and instead of enhancing the quality of their product according to customer preferences, they focus on SELLING the product. Now I would say that the ability to say the right things to make a sale is going to account for %20 of your success. I mean, even if you say all the right things, if your product doesn't meet the criteria set forth by the average male fantasy, you aren't going to get anywhere. If fact, sometimes "saying all the right things to make a sale" is working AGAINST the fantasy. No one wants to be "sold" something and by focusing on the sale you are bringing attention to it.

Like I said YOU are the product... YOUR ACT is the product - and if your act is based on "selling" then who is going to want to buy that act? If your "act" however is based on being a sex-driven, fun-to-be-around, beautiful young woman.... well I think you'll be a lot more successful with the gents! Just like anything though, it's never black and white. If you focus on psychology without a bit of sales know how, you aren't going to be able to close anything! It's a delicate mind game that you will have to play with yourself as to the portion of sales technique that you actually apply to be able to keep the fantasy alive without taking away your ability to make a sale. But, please remember to not let dry sales technique take over your "Hustle" otherwise you will be degrading your fantasy value.

The fantasy girl that we must learn to portray as strippers is often times not true to our core selves, but we must learn to over come the nagging in our head to be "authentic" and learn to ACT. There are tricks and techniques to use that will help you out on this, but acting is the most crucial part of your performance. Once a guy feels that you are taking the piss with him, it could be all over. Your job is to learn how to deal with this, how to recover from your slips as quickly and quietly as possible.

Stage magic actually offers some of the BEST techniques for being able to create the illusion of reality. It teaches you how to direct attention which is probably the best way to cover up sales technique! The best trick that stage magic teaches though is to make yourself believe that what you are trying to make look real ACTUALLY IS real. I'll write a blog on how to do this at some other time.

Men consciously KNOW that we are there to make money but subconsciously their minds are FILLED with the possibility of taking us home. Even though they know and accept that what we are saying could be BS their subconscious wants it so badly to NOT be BS that they will fall for our "sincerity". Even though they want to believe it, they also want to "know" that it's real... which will cause them to try and test you. Yes, THEY WILL TEST YOUR SINCERITY. But the best thing to do is to never EVER let them think / focus on the fact that you are manipulating them for money.

Once again, the MOST important thing about stripping is the fantasy, for the fantasy IS the product. The second most important thing is knowing HOW to sell that fantasy without ruining it!

So the main steps to creating fantasy:

1. Do research as to what the male fantasy is
2. Don't let sales technique degrade your "act"
3. Learn how to act to make fantasy reality.
4. Learn how to control attention to cover up sales technique and slip-ups.

I'll try my best to go into these further in future posts, but for now, try and figure out how to do as much of this on your own as you can : ) good luck!