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Here's the trick:
1. You always WISH you could contact them OTC, but you can't for X reasons
2. Quickly turn it around into an assumption of sale or a change of subject.
Reviewing many of the posts on SW regarding this manner, most girls seem to have a pretty clear understanding of part 1. Obviously, if you give them any inclination that you could see them out of the club if you wanted to, but you just don't, it breaks the fantasy - more like obliterates the fantasy. No man wants to be rejected.... but if your being honest.... thats exactly what your doing. That's why to do your job as effectively as possible, honesty is not the best policy.
Men want to be wanted by you... so think about it, what would you say to a guy that you honestly found attractive, but you don't have the time for outside of work (where you need to make money btw!)? First of all you would be disappointed that your "dream" guy just asked you for your number or to see you OTC, but you just can't. You would be hopeful that he really liked you and that he'll spend money on you so that he can be around you. Also, you'd have to have a good enough reason to turn down your dream guy because you had to work. After all, if you really liked him you would make room for him in your life... unless you have a REAL good excuse.
One excuse that any dancer could get away with is the "school" excuse. You pay for your own school and you go to school full time so you have A LOT of homework! And, when your not doing homework you need to be making as much money as possible to support yourself. It's easy to get away with because any man that would try to get in between you and an education would be obviously selfish.
There is one excuse that could be the mother of all excuses - literally :). The "I have a kid" excuse. It covers all the bases... you need money to support your child and when your not at work your spending time with your beautiful little one. You don't take calls because you don't want to be spending time on the phone when your watching your child - you give him/her your undivided attention. Also, playing up the single mom role gives the man the opportunity to step up as a "hero".
You can also try the "in debt" excuse... in which stripping is like one of three other jobs that you have to keep to get your ass out of debt. The key to this excuse is having jobs where they can't contact you or come and see you like nannying or working at a warehouse... otherwise you could potentially "see them out of the club"... and why would they spend money on you ITC if they can see you OTC?
You want situations that can not only justify your inability to send time with people you meet OTC, but also justify their spending money on you ITC ( -the more it makes them feel like a "hero" to spend money on you the better- ).
Remember: one of the main aspects that is wicked important is making them know that you WISH you could spend time with them. It's sooooo important to stroke their egos. Each man has particular things about his ego that need to be stroked, but the one thing all men have in common is that they want to be wanted. They want to feel like they are sexually attractive by women who are sexually attractive. The degree to which you show your interest in a guy is topic for a whole other blog, but for now just know that if you don't seem interested in him then you aren't interested in making the sale!
The next step is to quickly assume the sale once you have deflected the OTC approach. It's called controlling their attention. They were focused on getting to contact you out of the club, but what you want them to focus on now is getting excited about spending time with you ITC.
It helps to not have made a big deal about why you can't see them OTC first of all. If you spend too much time and energy on explaining yourself then you won't be able to divert their attention away very easily because YOU put so much attention into it. The customer will pay attention to whatever you are paying attention to - and what you REALLY want to pay attention to is how much fun he is going to have with you.
First just say that your busy or that you can't (while implying that you wish you could but that it's not super important through your tone) If he continues to ask then quickly and nonchalantly make your excuse as to why you can't see him and then assume the sale - or change the subject. Here's an example for a guy you've recently met
You: Oh your soooo cute... lets go for a dance
Him: You know... what I'd really like is to see you outside of here sometime...
You: (flippantly) Oh but I'm so busy when I'm not working - (seductively) and we can have soooo much fun right here (pulling him away to the PRs) let's go have some fun *deviant smile*
Him: Oh come on... if you really liked me you'd just give me your number!
You: (getting slightly serious / pouty - bring out your excuse now) OK look... It's just that I work really hard going to school - I'm a full time student and I pay for everything myself (warming up again) and I really like you, I really want to spend time with you (getting even more seductive and saying close to his ear) Come on baby come play with me *sexy smile*(start leading him back to the rooms)
(* at this point keep slamming him with sexy to get him to forget about OTC and get him enjoying what's ITC)
If he keeps on being insistent you can pull out the "but I just met you" tactic. The best way to pull this off is to insinuate that even though you like him, he's a little strange for asking you to see him OTC when you've just met. It's very logical that if you are as busy as you say you are it's practically impossible for you to make room in your life for someone you barely know. If he's been a regular for a while just say that you still feel like you need to get to know him a little bit better and that you hope he can respect that.
If he keeps on insisting after that you can bust out the "It's really unbecoming to beg" tactic. But, if he keeps on insisting after that you can pretty much write this one off as a lost cause. Make sure he knows that you can't deal with his begging any longer because you need to feel like you are being respected. And when you say "no" that means "no" - you wish you could but you just can't and that he needs to respect that. Any guy who pushes farther than that is being disrespectful and even though it seems harmless, he is basicly shitting on your words - he's telling you that your thoughts and needs mean nothing to him - which I personally see as emotional abuse.
Every guy that walks into the SC wants to get to get to see the girls he likes OTC. Somewhere deep inside of him - even though he may rationally realize that it is impossible - wants to have sex with you. It will ALWAYS be a part of your job to effectively dismiss the OTC attempts while maintaining your image as a fantasy girl. The best way to do it is to employ as many of the above tactics as possible. Good luck :D
Before you begin....
First of all welcome to my blog! Let me tell you a bit about myself and how this all began...
It all started when I went through a bout of depression where I questioned my intellect. One of the hardest things to go through is to honestly think that you're stupid.
Eventually I realized, however, that it was not me that was intellectually challenged, but the world around me that told me that I was because I see things "differently" (in other words, ways that most people don't have the ability to understand!). It turned out that I'm extremely philosophical and bright and I have an ability to become extremely good at whatever I have the motivation to learn! Yay!
So to find happiness I began one of the deepest searches one can take on in their lives: The Search for Enlightenment. What I found was that there are different paths to the peak of all mountains, but to truly know the way up a mountain you must first know all the paths to be able to find the one that will lead you where you want to go. This was my template for success: to simply learn and to keep my mind open no matter what.
Hence, I practice a form of Integralism in which there is no wrong answer, only answers that will lead you closer to the full truth and answers that will limit the truth.
It's my belief that to say there is only one right answer it like saying that there is only one path up the mountain... it's dangerously misleading.
As a professional exotic dancer it is my goal to apply this wisdom to my chosen profession as a way of fully exploring means of generating revenue. To use everything from biology to psychology to sociology to sales to become the "Ultimate Fantasy Girl" who is able to rob men blind! : )... The Ultimate Stripper if you will...
Sometimes, you may find what I say here hard to understand if you are used to the average "sales book" that most women in my profession rely on to learn The Hustle. It's my personal opinion that to rely on a sales tactic alone is highly misdirected for men do not come to strip-clubs to BUY something, they come to enjoy a fantasy. And while there are many sales tricks and tactics that can be used to increase your effectiveness, to count on them without respect for the deeper psychological processes involved in the relation between you and your customers is highly naive and doesn't implement a full range of effectiveness.
What you will read in this blog is mostly based on psychology, and can sometimes be philosophical and / or theoretical. However, it is the philosophy of stripping that will lead you to the deeper understanding that will spell out your success. Not all tricks and techniques will work for everyone but, a greater understanding of the craft and it's underlying psychology WILL.... as long as you can grasp it. It will then be up to you to apply the knowledge to the best of your ability, which WILL require creativity on your part to be able to match your personality with the intricacies of being a "fantasy girl"
It is not my place to call myself an expert, instead I feel the term "scientific observer" perhaps is more appropriate. I simply ask questions and seek answers. However, with the amounts of questions that I have asked and the amounts of answers that I have collected over the past two years on the subject of stripping has begun to take shape. It has begun to make more and more sense as a full picture of the art form has started to develop.
It's like all the little questions I've asked over time were like pieces to a giant puzzle. From the questions on the source of happiness and misery to the questions on what to say to a guy when he asks for your number at work, they have all added up to this picture of the "ultimate" dancer. How she knows mens weaknesses, how she knows just what to say to play up what she wants you to think and play down what she doesn't want you to think about, and how she can rob almost ANY man who enters her web blind.
These blogs are the first steps of cataloging this picture and while many details are yet to emerge, it is my goal to describe the foundations and principles of my findings thus far.
It is important that you realize that my goal here is to catalog the ways to MAKE MONEY. It's not about "being yourself" or "being a good person" Often times I will suggest things quite contradictory to popular ethics. You can judge and disagree all you want, but the techniques I have outlined here WORK when it comes to making money. If it is more important to you to "be honest" or "be a good person" than it is to make money than this blog IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have any questions by all means please feel free to ask. It's my philosophy that questions are the beginnings of enlightenment, so please, enlighten yourself! And by all means, keep searching for answers elsewhere... for the more places you look, the more comprehensive your vision will be : )
Thanks for reading.
<3 Princess Paris
Thursday, July 31, 2008
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2 comments:
I think most guys are smart enough to realize that even if you are in school AND have a child, you could still make the time for lunch or a phone call. That's just my opinion. They are going to know you are putting them off. No one is too busy for a call! I have been trying to find ways to "keep the fantasy" going as well - but I think they know what time it is....
Of COURSE they know that if you REALLY REALLY wanted too that you would make time for them, but they put us in a really difficult position when they ask us to make time for them out of the club.
#1. Think of it this way - either way you are rejecting them but it is much more POLITE anyhow to say that you are busy rather than "you just don't want to". And if you don't feel like you can because you have a S.O. then you will ruin the fantasy by telling them that - there is one situation where this will work, but once again this is a delicate situation and for the most part the techniques I've described above are the best we've got to deal with these types of situations. They ARE NOT FOOL PROOF, but they are the best we've got. : ) If you figure out a better technique that doesn't ruin the fantasy by all means - I am personally all ears.
#2. If a guy seems put off by the fact that you are "saying that your busy" then respond to that - show him that you feel bad about it. Your not meeting his esteem needs if it's getting to him (I talk about this in my integrated stripping blog) so find ways to bolster them.
#3 Remember - CHANGE THE TOPIC!!! the BEST way to deal with it is to DISTRACT DISTRACT DISTRACT!!! get their minds OFF seeing you out of the club and ON spending time with you IN the club. You have a lot more power than your giving yourself credit for Kamryn. Take control of the situation rather than letting them pressure you into sincerity! Honesty is almost always the opposite of fantasy and that is what we are there for - to create a fantasy for them!!! DO NOT let their mind dwell on things that aren't making you money and getting them excited : )
You haven't been dancing for very long yet Kamryn, but give it a few more months and you'll start to realize how hard of a situation this can be really hard to get out of WITH A PROFIT. They really don't give us many options, but you'd be surprised at how well this works - especially when you CHANGE THE TOPIC AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE. Guys are easily distracted with a hot piece of ass, but will very quickly stop spending money on you when they get put off. And guys are a fickle bunch - it's very easy to offend them. So like i said DO NOT let them dwell on things that are going to hurt your money i.e. anything that's not getting them "excited".
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